Christ's perfect love casts out fear

My younger son used to be so scared of being alone. He would hold his No.1/2 in until his brother or I could accompany him to the bathroom. His brother, who could stay by himself in a haunted house with no one around for miles, disliked having to go with him but I'd force him to if I was busy.

My husband would sometimes order him to go by himself but he couldn't: he'd just loiter at the top of the stairs holding it in until I found him there and accompanied him on his mission. I'd stay right there with him as he did his business.

Looking back, I realise why I acted in this manner. You see, until very recently, I had the same irrational fear! At a point in my life, I could not even sleep in a room by myself. I shared a room with my sister at some point and whenever she was away, I'd get my mom to come and sleep there or I'd sleep in hers. The fear was so distressing that she had to accompany me to the bathroom if I had to go in the middle of the night.

In essence, the reason I could empathise with my son was because I had been tempted at that point before! My husband and other son had never been tempted at that point so they thought it was ridiculous for someone to be scared "for no reason," much like how we wonder why some people just can't stop drinking, stop smoking, stop fornicating, get married, being gay, read their bible, save money, speak in public, control their temper, stop eating in an irritating manner; whatever you think other people should not be doing:) We even often assume that it is for lack of trying!

I understood how my son felt and did my best to make him comfortable. Above all, I'd tell him over and over that Jesus loves him and will never leave him for a second. I'd tell him that God's angels were guarding him on every side and that nothing could touch him.

We kept at this for a while until one day, I realised that my little boy had started going upstairs to do his business all by himself! I don't even know when it happened. Today, he's not scared to be by himself anymore. In fact, he'd rather be by himself because he doesn't want anyone to know how smelly his poop can be! He gets embarrassed; the same embarrassment could not stop him from having me around when he used to be scared to be alone.

Believers, perfect love casts out fear! 1 John 4:18 says "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love."

Now this "perfect love" is by no means my own love for my son! Sometimes, when he would ask me to go upstairs with him, I'd tell him that his wahala is too much:) notwithstanding the fact that I had experienced his fear before and know how distressing and destructive it can be! Sometimes, I could not sympathise with his weakness! And I'm his mother o!

Believers, Christ's love for us is the perfect love that casts out all fear! My son's realisation that hell will freeze over before Christ will allow the devil touch a single hair on his head caused him to be free! His faith came by hearing how much he is loved in and by Christ, not the Ten Commandments or forcing him to do what he could not do.

Also, Christ made sure that he was never alone during the times when he was still afraid to be by himself in the toilet or elsewhere; He comforts us and is right there with us even when we are still held down by our weaknesses and our weaknesses stink!

You see, fear is always a product of anticipating punishment. 1 John 4:18 says: "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love."

A recurring theme in my bathroom conversations with my son was his fear that the devil could just jump out from somewhere and "catch him" (same thoughts I used to have) thanks to our former beliefs about God (as a mean Taskmaster who is just waiting to let the devil have a go at you because you sinned) before His grace found us. The more he heard about the unconditional love of Christ expressed in His undeserved, unmerited favour towards us, the more he realised that the Lord is for us and always with us, no matter what.

Fear is not a rootless emotion. It is borne of condemnation and the subsequent expectation of judgment for sins committed; sins that our Saviour has already paid for with His blood! In Christ, there is no condemnation for the believer. Removing condemnation is what makes believers go and sin no more.

Telling believers to "stop smoking," "stop fornicating" "stop lying about your location" etc in order to be saved won't get anyone anywhere, much like how my son could only loiter on the stairs and hold his poop in whenever my husband ordered him to go by himself. The law cannot transform anyone. It only tells those under it what is right from what is wrong and when such sin, judgment must follow; and all have sinned! The people will go and "loiter on the stairs" and hold their sin in like my son used to hold his No 1/2 in! This will cause even more discomfort and damage. The letter kills!

Unveiling the perfect love of Christ expressed in His undeserved, unmerited favour (Grace) is what sets us free from sin, condemnation and the fearful expectation of judgment. Here, we are free indeed and like my son, can go about our business without fearing that the devil is going to jump out of the woodwork and attack us!

Hebrews 4:15-16 says "For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Believers, no matter what your weaknesses are today, our High Priest Jesus Christ sympathises with them. He does not condemn you. He will never tell you to go and figure out how to live a righteous life all by yourself. He will never tell you to "stop sinning, or else..." He will be with you in your weaknesses, no matter how stinky they are! This is where His strength is made perfect - in weakness. He will help you to overcome those sins that weigh you down. That's why He came: to save. 

Remember Ephesians 2:

8 '"For by His loving-favor you have been saved from the punishment of sin through faith. It is not by anything you have done. It is a gift of God. 9 It is not given to you because you worked for it. If you could work for it, you would be proud. 10 We are His work. He has made us to belong to Christ Jesus so we can work for Him. He planned that we should do this."

Believe Right and you will Live Right!