What does the Bible say about self-blame? Are there any helpful Bible verses for this?

Someone asked this question on Quora: What does the Bible say about self-blame?I beat myself up a lot whenever I make a mistake and decide that I deserve to not live in life sometimes. Are there any helpful Bible verses for this? And here's the response to it:

What you have described in your question is spiritual warfare. It is not fought in some demonic coven, a church building or by trading words with evil spirits. It is a battle for your mind. What you are going through is a part of the process by which Satan the accuser and our adversary ensnares and devours his prey - the same process that Judas went through after betraying Jesus; Judas killed himself. It is the same process that Peter went through after he committed a similar sin of betraying Jesus and not only lived but was restored and strengthened by Christ. Only by God's grace do we get to overcome.

Satan is not called “the accuser” for nothing; HaSatan is literally prosecutor at law in Hebrew. Prosecuting attorneys in Israel today are referred to as HaSatan. Satan's weapon to accuse is the Law that condemns the best of those who try to be righteous/godly by keeping it or have any business with it. Believer, for we who are in Christ, Satan the accuser has been disarmed of the weapon that he uses to accuse and heap blame on us and subsequently devour- the Law. See Colossians 2:

"13 At one time you were dead in your sins. Your desires controlled by sin were not circumcised. But God gave you new life together with Christ. He forgave us all our sins. 14 He wiped out what the law said that we owed. The law stood against us. It judged us. But He has taken it away and nailed it to the cross. 15 He took away the weapons of the powers and authorities. He made a public show of them. He won the battle over them by dying on the cross."

For all who are in Christ: those sins and mistakes that Satan accuses you of and for which you blame yourself and agonize over, God has forgiven you of all of them. He is satisfied and pleased with the payment that Christ made on our behalf. Whenever you fail, see yourself as a helpless little child that soiled itself. God knows that you can't keep yourself clean by your own power even though you want to, just as He knew that Peter was fooling himself when he boasted that he would never deny Christ. Trust in Him to pick you up, clean you up and save you from your sins that you worry about as His word says in Matthew 1:21-

"She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

Also Titus 2:14- "He gave His life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us His very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds."

Satan’s strategy has not changed since the time that he deceived Eve into believing that she could become godly (be like God) through human striving at doing something. See the forbidden fruit as a picture of the Law that many are striving to keep in order to be godly (be like God) in Romans 7:8-12 (MSG.) Satan, through his agents that masquerade as church pastors, sets churchgoers up to depend on their own will-power (arm of flesh) at obeying the Law and in their bid to attain godliness aka be like God, just as Satan did with Eve in Eden. Like the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the Law which gives the same knowledge and which many are being deceived into obeying in order to be godly (be like God) only causes sin to increase (Romans 5:20–21,) makes one see how sinful he is (Romans 3:20) and heaps guilt and blame on all who try to keep it. It condemns all who eat of it to death.

Just like the tree, the letter (law) kills. Satan the accuser is still deceiving many into doing the seemingly good thing eating of it in order to be godly (be like God.) The accuser can wield the law over (accuse) anyone who is trying to be godly (be like God) by obeying it. But the law condemns all who try to obey it. This is how Satan kills- his weapon is the (law) letter that kills.

The battle ground for this warfare that you are going through is the mind where we pull down strongholds (of human reasoning,) cast down imaginations and bring every thought into captivity "to the obedience of Christ." See 2 Corinthians 10-

4 "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,"

Notice the things that we are up against in this warfare- strongholds, arguments and thoughts? Strong's Concordance defines “strongholds" as used in 2 Corinthians 10:4 thus:

“of the arguments and reasonings by which a disputant endeavors to fortify his opinion and defend it against his opponent.”

This battle or spiritual warfare takes place in the mind. Our victory is found only in the obedience of Christ only. In this court of Law that is the mind, Satan the accuser accuses mankind of sins, mistakes, imperfections and shortcomings. This is where a "guilty" or "not guilty" verdict is reached based on what the accused believes about Jesus Christ - whether the accused believes that he has been made righteous by the obedience of Christ, or not. See Romans 5:19-

"By one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous."

HaSatan aka prosecutor at law accuses man of his mistakes and the things he has done wrong and then causes him to focus on himself and what he can do to right himself before God the Righteous Judge (be godly aka be like God.) Satan tries to get many to reject Christ as their Advocate and Bearer of sins and to stand as their own defense counsel and bearer of sins when they come under trial/face accusations in their mind. Satan tries to get believers to ignore the witness of Holy Spirit to us. These are all judicial terms. See the witness of the Spirit of Truth to all who believe in Jesus Christ in Hebrews 10:17 based on Christ's finished work as outlined in Hebrews 10:12-14-

“12 But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God, 13 from that time waiting till His enemies are made His footstool. 14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.

15 But the Holy Spirit also witnesses to us; for after He had said before,

16 “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,”17 then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” 18 Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.”

Spiritual warfare is a legal battle where having perfect righteousness before God (not man) is the only Way to overcome. The Holy Spirit cannot bear witness to the lie that God remembers the sins of His children in Christ. Churchgoers who believe that their sins are still hanging unpaid somewhere until they do something about it have believed a lie.

No one can stand by himself or what he can do by his own will-power as he stands accused in this trial. David prayed to the Lord in Psalm 143:2-

"Don’t bring your servant to trial, since in your sight no one alive would be considered righteous."

Not even the best of us can stand by our will-power. Only the righteousness that proceeds from Christ's sacrifice suffices for God the Righteous Judge. We all need God's saving Grace to stand. It is sad to see churchgoers who are honestly doing their best to be good suffering under Satan's accusations and oppression and being devoured alive because they choose to attain righteousness before God through their own obedience and not Christ's. The worst part is that their pastor might even be the one feeding them these lies of Satan that one can be godly (be like God) by human striving at obedience (law-keeping.) Even though some might mean well, putting any confidence whatsoever in human effort at right living is pride. The end is death.

Satan tries to reduce the finished work of Christ in making all who believe in Jesus Christ godly/righteous in God's sight into a footnote and tries to replace same with human striving at attaining godliness aka what man can do to “be like God” aka law-keeping. The same warfare strategy was used to deceive Eve in Eden. But the Law condemns all who try to keep it. As it was with the rich, young ruler who boasted to Christ about keeping the Ten Commandments from his youth, there will always be “one thing you lack" that will lead to blamestorming. Self-blame is the outcome of accepting guilt for Satan's accusations instead of seeing that same mistake, the ensuing guilt and its penalty settled at the cross when Christ died for us.

Beloved of God, in spite of all your sins and mistakes that Satan the accuser is accusing you of and is trying to get you into Judas’ suicide mode for, this is how God sees you who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ- Romans 5:9-

“And there is still much more to say of His unfailing love for us! For through the blood of Jesus we have heard the powerful declaration, “You are now righteous in My sight.” And because of the sacrifice of Jesus, you will never experience the wrath of God."

And see the benefit of being Christ's in Roman 8:33-

"Who then would dare to accuse those whom God has chosen in love to be His? God Himself is the judge who has issued His final verdict over them—“Not guilty!”"

God's gift of righteousness and His “not guilty" verdict that we who believe have through Christ is apart from the good or bad things we do. When this is your foundation - when your righteousness is from the Lord Himself and not from your puny efforts at obeying the Law - no weapon or accusation that is fired against you can prosper. Only those whose righteousness is from the Lord can resist Satan's blamestorming weapon of fiery darts of accusation based on the Law and tongues that rise against mankind to condemn as we see in Isaiah 54:17-

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.”

See the HCSB version: "No weapon formed against you will succeed, and you will refute any accusation raised against you in court. This is the heritage of the Lord’s servants, and their righteousness is from Me.” This is the Lord’s declaration."

And God does not just leave us to wallow in sins as antichrist pastors love to imply. Those sins or mistakes that such false teachers guilt-trip you into trying to save yourself from by using your own will-power, Christ came to save us from them all. See Matthew 1:21-

"She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

Being in Christ without living a godly life is as impossible as jumping into the sea naked without getting wet. Christ says in Him, we His branches will bear “much fruit.” See John 15:5. But pride in the arm of flesh (human effort) that will fail thinks that this cannot happen except through some forceful effort using the arm of flesh that will fail.

Satan and his antichrist preachers try to get churchgoers to believe that they can be righteous/godly (be like God) if they just strive harder to obey the Law and be sinless. But this is an effort in futility- “For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the Law commands. The Law simply shows us how sinful we are.” Romans 3:20.

No matter how hard you try, of yourself, there will always be something to blame yourself for. Those who depend on their own will-power to be blameless and regard their seeming lack of sins and mistakes as a sign of godliness are living in a bubble of pride like the self-righteous Pharisees. Like pre-denial Peter, the reason why many of us feel that some sins or errors are beneath us is because God did not allow us to get tempted beyond what we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:12-13.)

So what do we do when those accusing thoughts that try to get us blaming ourselves arise? The same thing we would do in an earthly court setting: look toJesus Christ our Advocate and Bearer of sins alone for salvation. How?

By confessing with our mouth God's gift of righteousness to us in Christ that we believe in our heart.

See this practical application in Romans 10:9-10-

“that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.”

See the NIRV- “9 Say with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord.” Believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead. Then you will be saved. 10 With your heart you believe and are made right with God. With your mouth you say what you believe. And so you are saved.”

"Saved" in this passage is not just being saved to go to heaven; it is also deliverance from the molestation of enemies and redemption from all earthly ills - worry, anxiety, oppression, depression, lack, sickness, whatever it is that bugs you. It encompasses being saved from the power, pleasure and penalty of sin. The word used in the original Greek text of the New Testament is Swthria(pronounced soteria) and it encompasses deliverance from all these things. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself is Salvation. (Yeshua is Salvation in Hebrew.)

God the Righteous Judge Himself gave us His own Son to make us righteous in His sight; Satan has no right to bring a charge against us who have Christ as our Righteousness.

Guilt for sins is the root of condemnation of which there is none for all who are Christ's. Self-blame is the evidence that one has condemned himself and thinks that he could have done better by his own will-power (arm of flesh.) Just as it is in any earthly court of law, condemnation is followed by judgment- a judgment that Christ bore for all mankind and which we freely receive by believing in Him.

Self-blame entails beating yourself up for what you did or what you think you are not (perfect/godly) and expecting God to punish you for same if you don't or can't get your act together - as if we could. It is a form of inferiority complex.

Self-righteousness is patting yourself on the back for what you did or what you think you are (godly) and expecting God to bless you for same. It is a form of superiority complex.

These two actions - self-blaming and self-righteousness - are two different sides of the same coin whose name is Pride. Post-betrayal Judas was full of the former. The Pharisees were full of the latter - they smugly thought that they were better than sinners, even accused Christ of associating with sinners. They figured that the good things they did made them deserving of life. For all of their self-righteous works that they took pride in, Christ called them “brood of vipers" and “white washed tombs.” In the eyes of God's law that they smugly thought they were doing a good job of obeying without mistakes, they deserved to die just as much as the adulterous woman that they dragged to Jesus and wanted to stone to death for her sin.

Recall that the other side of the coin of Pride is self-blame or inferiority complex? The self-righteous Pharisees were no different from Judas Iscariot who made a mistake, realised his error, was full of remorse (self-blame) and then “humbly" tried to restore himself to God's good graces by doing what the Law commands (restitution.) Only this is not humility. It is also Pride. The focus is still on human effort/will-power (arm of flesh) at attaining godliness or right-standing with God; a right-standing that Christ died that we might freely have. See this in Romans 5:9 above.

Wallowing in self-pity while thinking: “How could I have done that" is just as deathly as basking in self-praise “because I did that.” The common denominator is the ‘I’: focus on self. The one who depends on self tends to transition back and forth between self-praise when he thinks he has done right and self-blame when he does wrong. Notice that Christ who took all of our wrong to make us 100% right with God has been removed from the equation. The spirit of the antichrist is not anti-God. It is anti-Christ, like the God-serving and religious Pharisees whose lives were all about obeying God's law.

It is pride to try to pay for your sins that Christ died to save you from or to feel smug because you seem to be doing a good job of obeying the Law- no one can. All who try reject Christ as their righteousness and so are already condemned. After Pride comes destruction. Proverbs 21:4 says:

“Arrogance, superiority, and pride are the fruits of wickedness and the true definition of sin.”

Some churchgoers today might think that they would never descend to Peter's level of denying Christ or commit some heinous sins. That's some level of arrogance! Satan has not asked for them to sift them like wheat as he did Peter…, as he is doing to you who are blaming yourself for your sins; so many churchgoers are still living in their bubble of self-righteousness, like pre-denial Peter.

Look around you. Everyone who thinks he deserves to have life because of his good works and lack of mistakes is like the Pharisees. Everyone who thinks that he does not deserve to live because of his sins or mistakes is like Judas. Of ourselves, apart from God's gift of righteousness to us in Christ, none of us deserve to live. None. Only by God's Grace do we get to live.

As believers in Christ, by Grace, we get to take Peter's approach to dealing with our sins and errors that we hate with passion. Churchgoing hypocrites act like they are the only ones that loathe sin and that all sinners just want to continue to wallow in their sins. To think that all sinners enjoy their sins and don't want to give them up is akin to thinking that Peter enjoyed denying Jesus and could not wait for another opportunity to deny Jesus. What do we think is the major cause of depression and suicide even among unbelievers? It is guilt for sins, fear, anxiety, hopelessness and sorrow in the heart for sins aka not measuring up to particular standards - no different from what happened to Judas who was full of remorse and blamed himself for his sin.

All of mankind have sinned. Many are like Peter- beginning with good intentions, never thinking that they could do what they did and afterwards, feeling great remorse.

Others are like Judas. See Luke 22- “3 Then Satan entered Judas, surnamed Iscariot, who was numbered among the twelve. 4 So he went his way and conferred with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray Him to them. 5 And they were glad, and agreed to give him money. 6 So he promised and sought opportunity to betray Him to them in the absence of the multitude.”

When the scales of Satan's grip falls from the eyes of many, they realise their sin and are remorseful. No matter how it got to go astray, what the lost sheep who are living under accusation and the guilt of sins need is not more Law that kills but super(hyper)-abounding Grace: Jesus Christ the Good Shepherd who saves from sins.

Whenever we make mistakes, mess things up and always too, like Peter who also messed things up with his three-time denial of Christ, what we do is humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God who will exalt us in due time. By God's Grace, we live our entire lives this way. Don't try to help yourself. Let Christ our Shepherd help you, save you from your sins, clean you up and transform you. Then you will be strong and do exploits. Like Peter.

This answer is already too long:) You can see how to “humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God…” here- Toyin Olamide Obire's answer to In Christianity, how do you "humble yourself" before God? You cannot control your emotions but only your actions.